Originally posted by The Wizard of Oz
Ah, I was wondering about what happened to widowers. It came up in the House Tepet thread. We were wondering why Tepet Arada, a man, lives with House Tepet and not some other house. I assume he's a widower (he is normally depicted as quite old) and so returned to House Tepet.
As a further clarification, marriage doesn't make a man legally change Great House affiliation. Ledaal Kes didn't become a Ragara when he married Ragara Szaya. He is, however, expected to be loyal to Ragara Szaya and her household, and through them, to House Ragara. This is how the Empress' husbands were expected to behave, and how house matriarchs' husbands are expected to behave, and this goes a long way toward normalizing putting the wife's house first. But a Dynastic husband is also expected to be a filial son. Hence, divided loyalties.
Some husbands go to great lengths to prove their loyalty to their wife's house or to their mother's house. Some prefer not to make waves, trying to avoid a situation where their loyalties are tested. And historically, many husbands in the Imperial service made a point of placing their devotion to the Empress above their loyalties to either house — an approach that's causing them difficulties now that the Empress has vanished.